Today In Race Relations

-The White Scholarship: The Boston University College Republicans are offering a schlorship that is only availiable to people that are at least 1/4 Caucasian. I don't think there is any group of people on the planet that I hate more than College Republicans. It am reminded of that famous saying:

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."

In other (less eloquent) words, College Republicans are major assholes.

-Michael Richards:His bizarre outburst in which he berated two heckling audience members with the "N"-word. No wonder "The Michael Richards Show" failed. Just look at the cast:

-OJ Simpson's "If I Did It...": Well, they cancelled OJ's book and TV special where he was going to "confess" to the double murder of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown. So disappointing. I have always been enamored with the whole OJ saga. Back when it happened, I used to go around the playground as a 5th grader chanting, "Lance. Lance. Lance, Lance. ITO!" and "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit." Last year, I even collaborated on a song that was performed only once about the Juice. The chorus was

Oh, OJ!
What have you done?
She and Ron were just having some fun.
Oh OJ!
Why did you do it?
This time your ass fuckin' blew it.

It was an epic song that ended up saying that the prosecution had tried to "crucify America's only son." Needless to say, the message of the song could best be described as "confused."