The Most Blunderful Time of The Year

I hate the Holiday season. Hollywood and the retail industry would have you believe that it is a time of magic and familial love and good-hearted consumerism. It is a time of family melodrama, crowded shopping malls, and an unhealthy desire to satiate other people with overpriced consumer products. A Christmas miracle is if a family get-together can be had without any hurt feelings. A magical holiday moment is finding a Playstation 3 on ebay for less than $1,000 dollars. It also is the coldest time of the year where going anywhere is an absolute pain the ass. Where the airport is crowded with people who are unfamiliar with how an airport operates. ("This electronic check-in device is confusing. Maybe if I make a big fuss and hold up the line, things will move faster.") Where planes and trains are packed full with sneezing, coughing adults not to mention a crying baby or ten.

People may say that I am being all "Bah, humbug!" about the holidays and that I am missing the true nature of family togetherness and all those "life lessons" that occur in Christmas movies when the family is only brought closer together after bungling the entire process. In reality, those lessons are never learned. Next year only manages to bring more drama and nobody ever enters the New Year wishing that they spent more time with their family. Why do you think there is so much drinking on New Year's eve? It's to erase the memories of the stressful past month.

(I will say this, however. To anybody that complains that uisng Santa Claus in ads is "commercializing Christmas" too much, please remember that Santa is inherently a commercial creation. Just be grateful you don't get commercials with Jesus imploring you to buy a Lexus to honor his birthday.)

(Disclaimer for my family: My Christmas's have been mostly pleasant. I am trying to speak for the masses here and am not basing my feelings on any particulary unpleasant memories of the holidays. And yes, I still want that Xbox 360. And not the "core edition." Spend the extra 100 dollars for the hard drive, OK? Thanks.