In Which I Mock Someone Not Nepali

This article is from the Washington Post, "U-Va's One Year Wonder."

Now this young man graduated from the University of Virginia after just one year in school. Why anyone would want to go through college (also known as the "Most Fun You'll Ever Have") that fast is beyond me. He obviously is ripe for some criticism.

And you thought your kid was smart.

David Banh, an 18-year-old from Annandale, just graduated from the University of Virginia in one year. With a double major.

I don't have a child so I can't relate to the first sentence. But even then, it doesn't necessarrily mean that David is smart. Maybe just overeager or insane. And if my child graduates from college in one year, I'll send him back to learn things that can't really be learned in the classroom.

His parents pushed him. He liked learning new things rather than repeating what he already knew. He had a sort of low-key competition with a smart girl at his school. His uncle helped tutor him. "It was nice to be a year ahead" in math, he said. "It made me feel special when I was little."

By eighth grade, he said, most of the motivation came from himself, not his parents. By his second year in high school, he was taking three AP classes.

"I sort of got a little addicted to it," he said. At TJ, he was taking more AP classes than any other sophomore that year, so, he figured, why not do it again next year? "I took six the year after that and figured I may as well take a bunch of exams the next year as well."

Anybody who gets addicted to taking AP exams needs serious help. AP exams are a gateway test to harder and even more destructive tests. It eventually leads one to value their whole self-worth on the basis of a number that they receive on an exam. Why wasn't anybody looking out for this young man?

Meanwhile, he had mastered bridge -- yes, the card game -- competed in tournaments all over and ran the school club, which doubled in size.

It got another member. That's fantastic.

His mom said she is proud but sometimes worried about the track he was on. "He didn't have time to do a lot of stuff," she said. "He [would] just go home, do homework, take another extra homework and do it. He ate dinner for 15 minutes or ate dinner still looking at a book.

"I said, 'No, I do not want this.' But I guess it's helped him [in] that he believes he can do things. That's the most important to me."

OK. Seriously. Mental issues.

His first semester, he took 23 credits and found he had more time than he did in high school to spend with friends, playing games (video games or board games, he clarified, not drinking games). Or just hanging out.

"I don't feel like I missed out," he said. "Most of college was euphoria."

He had some low points, especially late in April when the workload for his 37 credits seemed crushing, and his grades started to slip. (To some Bs.)

Yes college is "euphoria." Why rush through it? This guy needs to be taken out back with a beer bong and get really loaded. Didn't he see "Animal House"?

In conclusion, this guy is going to snap at some point. He's going to realize that he's never had any fun and just break down. I just hope I'm not around when it happens.