A disturbing trend

So I recently upgraded my cell phone from a Nokia to a Motorola SLVR. Why the SLVR? Because it was the most ostentatious and trendy cell phone that I could afford. Owning it makes me feel really good and yuppyish. Plus, Harvey Pekar would hate it, and making him morose gives me pleasure.

However, I take umbrage at the name of the phone, SLVR. Apparently, its pronounced "sliver." However, it could be pronounced "silver" as well, just judging by the spelling. The lack of vowels is quite upsetting. The same goes for another popular and equally yuppy phone, the RAZR. While there are vowels it still looks like it belongs on a license plate.

This is right up there with those FCUK shirts that say witty stuff like, "Just been FCUKed" or "FCUK off." Just get the shirt to say the actual word instead. Its much cooler that way anyways. Same goes for the movie Se7en. Or as I like to call it "Sesevenen."

In the spirit of Stephen Colbert, I think that this Orwellian assualt on the written word, with its implied vowels, may be a Zionist plot.