Great Moments in Nepali History: Episode XIV

A Gay Old Time

The Nepali had the hankering to see a movie so he called his half-Asian friend. After much deliberation, they agreed to see In Good Company, mostly because of a desire to see the well-proportioned figure of one Ms. Scarlett Johannson.

There was one problem, however. The movie had been out for a month or so and wasn't playing in any major theatres close by. The Nepali's half-Asian friend said that he knew of a cinema that was showing the movie. The Nepali was a bit skeptical of the half-Asian, as he was skeptical of all Asians that weren't Nepali, but agreed to go to the see the movie, mostly because of the previosuly stated desire.

Once they arrived in the lavishly decorated theatre, the Nepali's keenly honed "Nepali Sense" began to suspect that something was amiss. He looked around the theatre, with its red velvet chairs, and saw rows and rows of men sitting next to men and women sitting next to women. And they were holding hands, and touching each other, and acting like they had been arranged to be married.

Suddenly, it struck the Nepali like a overheated momo that had been too hastily shoved into a mouth: This theatre was filled with homosexuals. Now, the Nepali had no problems with homosexuality, but questions still raced through his brain. Why had his friend brought him here? Is he trying to tell me something? Is he trying to take our friendship to the next level? Why don't they sell Heineken at the concession stand? What if he makes a move on me? How will I let him down gently?

The movie started and the Nepali tried to keep one eye on the screen and one eye on his friend, in case any such move was attempted. Despite his intention to remain vigilant, The Nepali was soon too distracted by a the Himalayan-like "peaks" that kept appearing on the screen to pay any mind to the man sitting next to him.

Fortunately, the movie ended and no pass was made at him. The two friends parted ways after sharing a laugh about the demographic make-up of the theatre audience. The Nepali was glad that his friend has not tried anything but he still vowed to never let his guard down in future encounters with the half-Asian.

Moral of the story: Those that reside in houses made of glass shouldn't cast the first stone.