Office Injury

I was playing with my stapler, opening it, closing it, caressing it gently against me cheek etc., when the spring popped out and hit me in the eye. It really hurt, and now my eye is bright red. I can't believe that the stapler would turn on me like that. It has to be punished. My plan to make a stapler out of staples will not be abandoned until the stapler behaves itself.