My top ten stalkable coaches in the Big Ten

To elaborate on a previous post:

1. Kirk Ferentz (The jaw on that man...incredible...Campbell-esque)
2. Joe Paterno (He's stalkable before, during, and after the game)
3. Jim Tressel (The vest, it works for me)
4. Pat Fitzgerald (1994-5 Defensive player of the year. What more needs to be said?)
5. Joe Tiller (I'd throw down some Boilermakers with him)
6. Terry Hoeppner (Who does he coach again? That's right, Indiana. Antwaan Randle-El went to Indiana. Plus he had a brain tumor. Brain tumors are stalkable)
7. Lloyd Carr (Great Winning percentage on the field...Bad winning percentage in the bedroom. Or so I hear. Besides Mike Hart isn't getting enough touches. Inexcusable.)
8. John L Smith (If he doesn't even like himself, how am I supposed to like him?)
9. Bret Bieliema (Badgers? Badgers?! We don't need no stinkin' Badgers!!)
10. Glen Mason (I'm sorry he just doesn't do it for me. His name sounds like a Chicago suburb)
11. Ron Zook (I'm afraid he'd kill me and my family)